dajo42:

alternatives to “it was all just a dream”

  • it was all just a story the narrator heard somebody else tell on the bus
  • it was all just somebody rambling after getting their wisdom teeth out
  • it was all just a feature length puppet show
  • it was all just a set of cave paintings
  • it was all just a frighteningly elaborate set of instructions on the back of a microwaveable meal

professor-maia:

bread-pitt:

callurn:

morethanstarswere:

callurn:

Gay marriage will now be referred to as a “macklemarriage”

Or just as marriage..?

Macklemore didn’t die for this

macklemore isn’t dead

yet

dickmark:

OKAY SO ALMOST 2 MONTHS AGO OUR ENGLISH TEACHER FORCED US TO ENTER A POETRY CONTEST AND I WAS ABOUT TO ENTER A POEM WHEN IT TRIED TO FORCE ME TO GIVE IT A TITLE SO IN A FIT OF RAGE I WROTE A NEW POEM COMPLAINING ABOUT THE TITLE REQUIREMENT

image

AND TODAY I WENT TO CHECK MY EMAIL AND I??????

image

YOU ARE LITERALLY PUBLISHING AN INSULT TO YOUR OWN RULES BUT OKAY I GUESS IF GETTING TALKED DOWN TO TURNS YOU ON SOMEHOW AND I GET PUBLISHED I’VE GOT NO COMPLAINTS HERE?

godmuva:

Why people ask me shit like “how was work?” or “how is school?” like work is work, school is school, I would rather be on a yacht right now while gettin some dick but here I am

octoswan:

there’s a comic book store in my town that gives ladies a 10% discount and the people who work there are really friendly so lots of ladies show up to hang out and buy comics and one time i was looking through some new releases and this guy walked in, saw all the ladies, did a double take, and said really loudly and condescendingly, ‘there sure are a lot of girls in here for a comic store!’ and laughed but no one else laughed with him and it was glorious

rnasturbaking:

If you’ve forgotten that teenage boys are the scum of the earth let me inform you that this girl in my pe class was hit in the face with a frisbee and got a black eye so all the boys are now calling her Rihanna

Reblog - Posted 9 hours ago - via / Source with 37 notes

communistbakery:

poutingly:

angryfuckingvegan:

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Milk is not natural.

Angryfuckingvegan comes the conclusion that cows are not real and milk does not actually exist

confirmed: babies do NOT drink breast milk. That’s what the government wants you to think

rocketssurgery:

I would probably pass out if they called each other “Mr. Hummel” and “Mr. Anderson” oh man